In a series of photos that we're quite certain were taken somewhere in the early 1910 timeframe, it seems that our favorite (ok, MY favorite) historical hat-maker grew somewhat larger than the other founders. Not exactly Edna-esque in size (although both of our favorite Edna's do tie into this story), but he had certainly become a man with a more rubust silhouette. And probably a couple of busts themselves. We followed the trail back in time and it appears this newfound stature of his was first documented in this photo:
"He could stick a four course meal on that hip and still have both hands free to hold a knife and fork," said Bob. Bob is not wrong in this observation.
I mean, honestly it doesn't even look like him. I wouldn't have even though it the same person, but Bob was able to remove all the water damage and restore the handwritten caption on the photo's backside: "Prof. Marvel, Plancovania Fireman's Ball, La Grande Aubergine, 1909."
What's this? He could sketch photo-realistic scenes, design fabulous headwear, AND fight fires? Well, no. As it turns out he was not a fireman at all. But the story starts much earlier than that, with a tiny shack on the nearby peninsula across from Loggertown where Edna's boarding house conducted "operations." (Bob asked me to put "operations" into air quotes, so I did.)
And it actually goes back much further than that, to the childhood of Miss Edna Mae Jr. herself, near the turn of the century before the park was even founded. It seems (and don't ask how we learned this story, we were on a mission) that as a wee lass (her mama said she was never really a wee lass) that Little Edna would spend her days in the fields frolicking amongst some fruity shrubs, staining her clothes and eventually her face, as the berries they bore were quite tasty. Her mama told her they were called boobieberries. Little Edna and her purple stained face eventually took to bringing them home with her in the afternoons, and Mother made them into pies that they would have for dinner. "If it's good enough for dessert, it's good enough for dinner. And sometimes breakfast," Mama Mae would say, so often in fact that they eventually carved the phrase on her tombstone.
It wasn't long before Little Edna learned to make the pies herself, often taking them to the schoolhouse with her to give to all the boys in the yard. They liked her pie so much that they begged her to bring more each day, anxiously waiting for her along the path because the pie was so good that they couldn't even wait for lunch. Allegedly she even had a little song about it as she skipped home each day, to the effect of "My pie brings all the boys to the yard, that's right..." or something like that.
Mother Edna was so impressed by this that she told her daughter she should start charging money for her famous pie. Little Edna was so excited by the idea of being a real business woman like her ma that she begged to let her sell them in the boarding house. "There's enough pie floating around in that place already, baby. We'll see what we can do for you when you're older."
And that's what she did. On her thirteenth birthday, Mama put a blindfold on Little Edna and led her across the footbridge to the wooded empty peninsula across from the camp, and when the blindfold came off her daughter could not believe her eyes and squealed with delight: A modest structure to be sure, but the words "Little Edna's Pie Hole" were right there in great big letters.
Not only did Little Edna have her own business, but she no longer had to go to school each day because really, school was just Mama's way of getting her out of the house for a few hours while she went to work.
Well, this brings us to the summer of 1909, when a certain Professor Marvel was out and about on his weekly walk and stumbled upon the shack he had not noticed previously, and he look up to see Little Edna Mae Jr. standing upon the porch with her pie in the breeze, hoping to attract some business. An excellent business plan, as the professor took one taste of that pie and he was hooked.
(We comissioned an artist to render a drawing of this historic event. Little Edna was known for her red dresses as they seemed to conceal the boobieberry stains. And while the professor may appear to have white hair in this portrait, that is actually the sun glaring off of the back of his now balding head. The professor was said to believe his premature hair loss was caused by the massive weight of the hefty hats that he wore. This theory does not explain why none of the women who sported his creations suffered any hair loss of their own. Profound neck and severe back pain, but not hair loss.)
Those weekly walks over the footbridge turned into daily walks, and not just once per day. Modern day park goers to Rose Lake know that "Little Edna's Big Gaping Pie Hole" obviously survived it's startup status and remains in operations to this day (thankfully not in that same tiny shack), mostly due to the frequent trips made by the Professor during those early days of operation.
But back to the (lengthy!) story. In the autumn of 1909 the Plancovania Fire Department held their annual ball in the Grand Aubergine Ballroom at the Grand Cocotier Hotel, by which time Professor Marvels' waistline had become rather grand itself. Before his addiction Professor Marvel had been in training to actually apply as a fire-fighting volunteer, partly because he knew the park would eventually need someone of such a skillset, and partly because he really wanted to wear the shiny hats. He suited up for the soiree (dress for the job you want, they say) in hopes of impressing the fire chief, Captain BJ Hornblower.
(photo taken from a subsequent ball, as Rose Lake did not have a fire department in 1909 and all attendees were members of the Perseverence Fire Company in Peepsburgh)
(captain Hornblower himself, standing next to a horn.)
The story goes that Hornblower was not at all interested in the advances of Professor Marvel, not so politely shooing him aside as he was rather starstruck by local celebrity Major General Stanley Wolf and followed him around all evening like a lost puppy, continuously offering to demonstrate his impressive hornblowing skills. The Major General himself was preoccupied with several firemen of a younger variety, and both Captain Hornblower and Professor Marvel went home that evening alone and forlorn.
This experience of course, did nothing to curb the Professor's appetite for Little Edna Mae Jr's. perfectly precarious pie.
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"What's with all the alliteration?" Bob asked me while proofreading this story.
"What?" asked me.
Besides "operations", Bob should've had you put "pie" into airquotes as well. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThat, I'm certain, would have never made it past the censors.
ReplyDelete